Cornrows and Sisterlocks

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I just wanted to blog about a hair emergency. I just read on Brunsli’s blog about the dangers of cornrolling Sisterlocks and lock loss. You can read about it here.

I’ve always been curious about cornrolling Sisterlocks. I know what the stress of wearing braids can do to one’s hairline, and I automatically assumed doing a whole lot of braiding (especially cornrolling) can’t be good for Sisterlocks.

I don’t think cornrows are good for loose, chemical-free hair with how tightly most folks braid hair. I hate getting my hair braided.

Anyway, I just wanted to blog a little bit about the issue and send you to Brunsli’s blog so you can ask her all kinds of questions.

Enough about hair.

I’ve seeing a lot of women around me struggle with working and motherhood. Why would you attempt to do both if you don’t have to? I guess that’s one reason why I won’t have children. I don’t want to be a working mom. I don’t want to juggle both. I know a lot of women who do who don’t have to and I shake my head. I actually want to smack them but shake my head instead because that’s the more kosher thing to do.

If I were married and my husband said i could stay home with my babies, I’d be so long gone from the job. But I won’t ever marry so i don’t have to worry about that scenario.

8 Responses to “Cornrows and Sisterlocks”

  1. Sonia says:

    While it is best to be home with your babies, there are people who care for children who genuinely love them and cherish them, such as myself. I have been teaching preschool for 15 years, and I care for the children I care for. I give them hugs and encourage their progress everyday. Sometimes parents feel as if they should be there for their child all the time, sometimes the child needs to gain that independence and support without mom/dad. You can not be there all the time. While I encourage parents to be home if they can, there are other teachers who genuinely care. I treat each child as my own. Instilling morals and values, I guess that is why I don’t have to advertise my business…

  2. Sharon says:

    You know what, I am a working mother with two girls a 3 1/2 year old and a 4 month old. My husband and I both work and at this point I have 15 years on my job and opposed to my husband who has 2 1/2 on his. I would love to stay at home and be a house wife and do nothing but take care of the children but I am too close to retirement. And to give that up would be crazy seeing that he does not have the time in his job that I do. But what I do know is that I would not have made the choice to not have children if I cant stay at home. My girls are the absolute best thing that has EVER happened in my life and with each passing day, seeing them grow and change and smile and laugh. The words my 3 year old uses to express herself. The goodnight routine, reading her favorite book AGAIN :-), saying our prayers together. Even when she gets hurt she insists on me kissing her bumba (thats what she calls her booboos) and that makes it all better :-). Asking her what did she learned in school that day. She is nothing short of amazing! My 4 month old always has the cutest crooked smile and she is such a good baby! She has a easy going personality as long as she is fed, dry and not tired, she does not cry. When she does cry for those simple needs, as soon and you change her she is happy, as soon and you feed her, she is happy, as soon and you put her down for a nap (you dont even have to rock her) put her in her crib with her pasi and cover her up, she is satisfied! Also watching her interact with her big sister makes me want to cry sometimes because I know that Morgan will kick anyone butt who messes with Gabrielle. They lover each other, already!! My mother keeps my youngest and I have a babysitter who keeps Morgan after she gets out of school until my husband gets off of work. She has been watching her for 3 years and she is like a grandmother to her. I say all of that to say, children enrich your life… they make life sooo much more worth the living. And to not experience that (to me in my opinion) is to not live life to the fullest.

    • Shavonne says:

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the topic.

      My choice of not having children is because 1. I’m not married and 2. I work. I would probably change my mind on whether to have children if I got married. For me-no marriage, no kids. PERIOD.

      The other reason behind my decision to probably never have children stem from my upbringing. My mother (a working mom) made motherhood look like something I would never want to experience. She’d come home from work tired, irritable, and not genuinely happy to see me. Not exactly the circumstances I’d want to repeat. I’d rather die than be that kind of mother.

      Working a full-time job is something I would not do. Most employers don’t offer pensions any more, just 401Ks, so it’s not like I’d be leaving a nice retirement package behind. And there’s plenty of jobs that I can do from home to earn an extra income. I come across them all the time in my job search.

      • Sharon says:

        Motherhood comes about different ways for different people. I thought much the same way as you earlier on and I was firm. As a matter of fact I did not even like kids that much. I am in law enforcement and the only interaction I got from them were the ones I saw while working in Juvenile Division for 7 1/2 years. The worse of the worse, from sexually molesting a sibling to burning down an entire apartment complex to killing someone. I was 32, had my own house and a dog I absolutly loved. I could come and go as I pleased. I had a boyfriend I loved him but I was not trying to get married or anything. Well we all know what we do to get prego.. well when I found out I was upset I cried but abortion was not an option. I sold my old house bought a new one was was going to make a new life for me and my little one because after I saw my first ultrasound, it was as if something inside of me swiched on.. like I was living in darkness and now I was standing in bright light. That little person was my little one… I was going to be somebodys mother!! Wow!!! If I was going to be a single parent.. so be it! But it did not work out that way, we ended up getting married.. not for the baby but because I loved him and It was hard because I was used to being alone and I liked it. We got married when Morgan turned 8 months. Life is good. But what I did want to tell you is that you seem like a good person and you are not your mother. I am not saying your mother was a bad person by no means, what I am saying is just because your mother was the way she was does not mean you will be the exact same kind of mother. My husbands father was a verbal abuser to his mother but he is not to me because he knows he did not like the way his father spoke and treated his mother. He wanted to make sure he did not repeat his fathers mistakes. You would be a great mother. Another thing, my sister is single and she adopted my nephew through CPS 12 years ago… He is a wonderful boy. Motherhood like I said comes about in many ways. But ultimatly it is your personal choice, you dont have to have kids but boy they sure make the holidays a million times better!!!!

      • Holly says:

        Hello Dear:
        I just stumbled upon your blog and i must say you and agree on many things. I am 40 and retired from the Army. Now i am kicked back in Austin, Tx contemplating my next career maybe…and where to reside while I grow old. I never had children because i absolutely refused to be a single parent unless first married. I think the financial, emotional, and physical demands are just way too great for one person;hence, terribibly selfish that people take on parenting so lightly…I believe a direct reflection of why the society seems to be going to hell….I will read more of your blog in hopes of not asking you questions already answered.
        Holly I am sisterlocked and loving them

        • Shavonne says:

          Hello Holly,

          Thanks for visiting and commenting on my blog. People do take parenting so lightly. I hope you enjoy the rest of my blog. -Shavonne

  3. Sandra says:

    Good question about WHY women with children work when we don’t have to. For me, part of it is loyalty/empathy for my coworkers, and part of it is that I simply enjoy the task of editing. I like to help people, and if I can do that by working 15 hours a week, well, it’s of benefit to both of us since it’s satisfying to help others, they get the help, and oh yeah – I get paid. And although working 15 hours a week isn’t going to make me a millionaire, it does help pay for some luxuries like the occasional massage at a spa and trips to Disneyland, etc.

    However, I’m lucky in that my mom is able to watch my mom when I am away. If my only option for daycare was a daycare facility rather than family, you bet I would not be working one minute outside of the home. We want our son to be with someone who loves him as much as we do if we can’t be with him, and though I’m sure folks who work in daycare care about their assigned kids, it’s not the same as a doting grandmother.

    • Shavonne says:

      You are lucky having a mom who can watch your baby. I think that’s the way it should be. I find it strange to leave a child with complete strangers all day long. When you leave your children with family, especially a grandmother, you know your child will be instilled with the same values you grew up with. You don’t get that with strangers. I’ve actually heard people say things like, “I don’t know why my children and I are so different” or “why doesn’t my kid speak English?” (no kidding!) and have to shake my head because I know it’s because the kids spend more time with people who have different values.

      “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”

      That saying is such a cliche but it’s so true.