Friday
Today was my day off. I didn't do much. I watched a movie called Big
Night starring Stanley Tucci and then by mistake I took a nap.
I hate naps and generally take them when I'm sick, but sit me on my
bed and give me a reason to close my eyes (I hate the lights in my
room) and I'm out for the count.
I went looking through my pictures on flickr and changed my viewing
permissions because my cousin complained that I haven't posted in
pictures in months. It's not that I didn't have any pictures, she
just couldn't see them. I wanted to go through the pictures to get
rid of the one's I didn't like before I allowed anyone to view them.
I missed my 6 p.m. meeting. It dawned on me that I had someplace to
be at around 7:15 p.m. and by that time after almost putting on my
uniform, I decided I didn't have anything to add to help alleviate the
situation at work. The temporary workers have expired passes and
there really isn't anything to do about it. There was a better system
already in place to deal with the issue, but a LtCol decided it was no
good so now we're stuck with a shitty system. Did they ask me what I
thought then? No. So why is my opinion so important now?
It doesn't matter anyway. I don't think I was going to go even if I
had remembered to go. When I take off my uniform, it's off until I
have to put it on the next morning.
–
Shavonne
Short men and their tall tempers
I have this policy-never date short men. Seriously. I dated a short
guy I worked in the same building with last year and he had a temper.
He acted like just because he bought me a meal, I should be happy to
choke on his tongue.
I was supposed to watch a movie with this other short guy a couple of
days ago but had to cancel. I came down with another cold and I didn’t
feel like coughing and sneezing snot rockets across the room while we
watched a movie. So I thought the sensible thing to do would be to
cancel and schedule for another day. Well, it seems shorty took
offense to me getting sick. He probably thinks I blew him off
purposefully. But I didn’t. I was really sick. Oh well, tis better to
end it now that to wait until later. I don’t want to have a
psychopathic, vertically-challenged stalker on my hands. That would
suck.
I really need to spend my time trying to figure out how I’m going to
raise the money to buy this condo I want. I want this condo so bad, I
have trouble sleeping at night.
–
Shavonne
The Chase at Bethesda
When I was in Maryland back in October, my cousin and I went walking
through a neighborhood in Bethesda. I have to tell you, it was
everything I wanted in my future residence. There were many
restaurants, shops, and a descent night life. I also discovered they
were building condos there. The perfect place for me to live - <a
href= "http://thechaseatbethesda.com/default.asp">The Chase at
Bethesda</a>.
The only thing keeping me from my dream is my lack of money. This is
what bothers me the most, if the average salary is $40,000, how are
people able to afford to buy house? The houseing market has slowed a
bit, but not to the point where I could afford to by anything. I have
options and I'm seriously considering them. I can't act on them until
I leave Afghanistan though. Four more months (hopefully).
–
Shavonne
Never can say goodbye and powdered goat’s milk
I'm terrible at saying goodbye. I will do just about anything to
avoid saying it. The last time I said goodbye to someone, I almost
cried. I considered this person a good friend. We had lots of great
conversations about everything under the sun. Our discussions would
get so heated, we'd sometimes leave each other pissed off. But we
would make up and everything would be normal. Now he's gone because
of some bullshit. I hope he's okay. He has a chain of command to
answer to so getting in trouble in Afghanistan has it's repercussions.
I said bye to someone in an email. I could just as easily go to his
room and say bye but I won't. I don't want to feel like a stalker.
Plus, time probably won't permit me to give a proper goodbye anyway.
My cousin sent me some powered goat's milk. It has a funny taste to
it when it goes down initially but afterwards it takes like regular
milk. So basically the after taste is much better. It's much easier
to drink by itself than soy milk. Soy milk is only tolerable after
some cereal has soaked in it. Gosh, I hate being lactose intolerant.
I think I might try the powered skim milk next just to see how my body
reacts to it.
I tried my web camera for the first time! It's amazing. I wish I
could get my mom up to speed with cyber chatting. I need to find
someone with iChat. Skype is kinda slow and there's a terrible delay
but I can't complain because it's free.
–
Shavonne
Stormy Weather
It's thundering and lightning right now. I really, really think days like this are romantic. This is the first day in a long time I wish I had a boyfriend to snuggle with.
I got a text message from someone today. It was sweet that he was thinking about me. I tried to send him a text but I'm completely useless when it comes to mobile phones. I hate them with a passion. I'm much better with computers.
My day went by pretty quick. I just wish the next year goes by even faster.
I went to a barbeque last night. There was great food as usual. The Italians really know how to cook animal flesh. I don't think my body can digest alcohol, though. As soon as I took a sip of some white wine I felt the need to throw up. There's another party next week. I can't wait to go. Last night's BBQ and the one before were the best meals I've had since I've been in Afghanistan.
I'm totally depressed about my friend's reenlistment in the Army. I was hoping she would get out but I know it was the money that tempted her to stay in. I wanted to ask her if she did it for the money or if she was aware that she wouldn't get called back in if the got out since she reenlisted back in 2005. Her first reenlistment should have nulled her original contract with a 4 year IRR obligation.
That's it for now. I think I'm going to spend the next couple of days reading over that JANOWRIMO book I started writing at the beginning of last year. Maybe I can salvage some of it or continue with it. I don't know. I just need to get cracking on some creative writing.
–
Shavonne
My future hairdo
I’ve been seriously considering cutting my hair. I went searching the
net last night for short haircuts I thought would be flattering and I
came across a picture of Halle Berry.
I think I have the right facial structure to pull off this hairdo. Or
maybe not. I’m just tired of wearing my hair pulled back when I don’t
have time to do it. Actually I’m tired of refraining from doing
things simply because I don’t want to sweat out my hair or mess up my
hair. You know there are lots of black women who don’t know how to
swim simply because they didn’t want to mess up their hair? It’s one
of the reasons why I live in a dry climate and not a humid one. When I
get my hair done, I don’t want to mess up my hair.
A male (and black) co-worker said having my hair that short would make
me look older. He thinks Halle Berry looks younger now with long hair
than she did all those years she wore her hair short. I think he just
likes long hair. Any man who likes long hair, well, he should just
get himself a white girl, or Asian, or Latina. I just can’t deal with
long hair anymore. I want a man that wants me to feel comfortable
with myself.
I sent an email to my cousin Vic and of course she thinks the cut will
look great on me. I knew she would though. She’s all about breaking
those black woman mantras going around. My cousin Vic cut her hair
not too long ago and has no regrets. I don’t think I will have any
regrets because right now, I wear my hair in bun everyday and it takes
two hours to comb it out when I wash it. Cutting my hair short would
give more time to do other things.
–
Shavonne
Worst trip to the beauty salon ever
I knew I would have a bad hair day when I was told the Russian girl wasn’t coming back, but I decided to give the new girl a try anyway.
Now, I only use Kera Care products in my hair because I have a sensitive scalp and other products, especially grease, will cause my a breakout along my hair line and a flaky scalp. I always bring my own shampoo/conditioner when I go to a salon that doesn’t carry products I normally use in my hair. The beautician washed my hair adequately, considering she had long acrylic nails and she put a ton of leave
conditioner in my hair (which is fine because the climate is really dry) but when it came to blow drying, she hasn’t got a clue. She started spraying a ton of oil sheen in my hair. I was a little bothered by that but I let it slide. Then she started blow drying my hair and the heat from the blow dryer combined with the oil sheen
created a smoky atmosphere, which set off the fire alarm. TWICE. The first time it went off people were walking past the shop and looking in and workers from the other shops were mouthing at us to stop
whatever we were doing because the alarm was loud. Then the fire department came running in the building looking for a fire that didn’t exist. (By the way, the firemen were HOT!)
When the alarm went off the second time, the Firemen decided to shut off the alarm system. They told manager of the salon to call whenever she was done with my hair. You have no idea how embarrassing
it was. Everybody knows who I am because they have to come through where I work. I will now be known as the American chick who’s hair set off the fire alarms in the Milano. TWICE!
–
Shavonne
Skype and thoughts on being a Wino
I've been using Skype since I lived in Korea and I think it's great.
The only problem is I can't stand the perverts that skype me all the
time. I think I should change my photo on skype.
I went to a party last night and the night before last. I drank a
little bit. Apparently wine is supposed to be sipped. According to a
few people there, someone who drinks their wine really fast is a
drunk. Well, let me set the record straight, I only drink my wine so
fast because I don't like having anything in my hand. My hands should
be free at all times. That makes sense right?
Does anyone know the fastest way to kill a cat in heat besides
shooting it with an M-16? The darn things have been f^cking outside my
window for the last two nights and I'm sick of it.
–
Shavonne
Relationships
I've been thinking a lot lately about being single and how it's really
the only status I'm comfortable with. The guys I dated in the past
really didn't add to my personal happiness and they weren't fun to be
with at all.
Then I got to thinking about the men I've met whose company I really
enjoyed. We never really dated. We were just friends and I felt so
comfortable with them. Unfortunately, we would always be in some kind
of transition like a departure or a career change that sent us in
entirely different directions. Those were always the guys that made me
think, could he have been the one?
I don't know. I get so tired of wondering about the what ifs, ya know?
Sometimes I wish I were male. They seem to have all the time in the
world to just BE while women get stuck with biological clocks ticking
away at our youth.
I told one of my male friends that if I don't get married or have
children, it would be okay. It isn't meant to be. It almost feels like
that's the way it's supposed to be.
–
Shavonne
Stress
I've been under a lot of stress lately. A few civilian co-workers
left/got fired and went back to England. I'm having to train new
civilians while trying to do a job I despise with all the fiber of my
being.
I'm pretty much suffering from all the ailments I suffered from during
those four years of hell. Heartburn, constipation, fatigue, body
aches, migraines, cough, swollen feet, and the list goes on and on.
September couldn't get here fast enough.
I have a few things to bitch about but I'm going to save them for
later. I'm tired and hungry and I want to get to sleep before my
roommate gets back.
–
Shavonne
I signed up with Facebook
I have a myspace account but I absolutely hate myspace because I find it difficult to navigate the interface. I also hate message boards. I'm a blogger danggit! What use do I have for myspace?
I've met some folks who use Facebook. So, in order to keep in touch with them, I opened a Facebook account. Doubt I'll use Facebook because I think it's boring. Did I mention I hate message boards?
I hung out for a hot second with this guy I think would be perfect for my cousin. You know that saying, if you can't have 'em for yourself, give 'em to someone you like ? Or is that really a saying? It would comfort me a great deal if someone I liked was rubbing on those beautiful man muscles.
I've come to the realization that I'm a slut magnet. Yep, it's true. I'm a slut magnet. Not only that, but I laughed at someone because his last name is Stinkeoway (Stink-o-Way). And I'm still laughing! LOL! I tried my harddest not to laugh. And at first I didn't think anything of it because I thought it was pronounced Stin-Kow-ay and then I thought Well maybe it's Stink-o-way. No it couldn't be. Then I asked him how he pronouced his name and once it said it I started laughing. That's bad. He was attractive, too.
Well, I have to go.
–
Shavonne
Time to say goodbye to blogger
I’ve had my own domain for about two months now and it’s been functioning properly for the last month. That means I will no longer be posting here. If you want to read up on what I’m doing please go to
Thanks.
freedomtofascism video Promo
| A promo for a movie coming soon to theaters with information concerning the American Internal Revenue Service, the American Government and other little assorted tidbits. Very informative. | |
AMERICA: FREEDOM TO FASCISM
| http://freedomtofascism.com - Official Web site of Aaron Russo’s AMERICA: FREEDOM TO FASCISM | |
Phone Calls From the Edge: "I got a baby. When you gon have one?"
I know I’m black and female, but that doesn’t mean I want to have illegitimate children. My mom and her two sisters all had their children out of wedlock. They figured if my grandmother, their mother, could raise six children without the help of a husband (my grandpa was a rolling stone), then they didn’t have to get married or have a man in order to raise a child.
I don’t want to go into the details of the three (four if you count my grandmother’s sister) generations of illegitimate children born on my mom’s side of the family. You’ll just have to read it here.
Let’s go back to Father’s Day.
I spoke to my dad on the phone for about an hour. I really enjoy talking to him. He doesn’t wine in my ear or ask me when I’m going to give birth the next generation of America’s Most Wanted, future penitentiary bounded, etc.
I then spoke to an uncle of mine. That was a relief. He didn’t ask me about a baby status. I think I will call him more often. He happens to be the only child of my grandmother to have children after marriage! Of course, his first marriage ended but at least he tried. Wife number 2 is helping him raise his two children.
Then there was my cousin R who’s four years younger than myself. He and his chickehead girlfriend had a baby back in October. He just couldn’t resist asking me the question “When you gon have a baby?” I felt like explaining how I don’t think it’s right to have children outside of marriage, but it would have completely went over his head. He’s used to seeing it. Heck, his girlfriend didn’t make it a requirement that he marry her before she started having his baby.
Since the birth of my cousin’s baby, that means I am one of the last of my grandmother’s grandchildren without a child. My other two childless cousins are still children. Did I mention my grandmother lived long enough to see her first great, great illegitimate grandchild? Yep.
Graffiti
There’s nothing I hate more than graffiti. To me, it’s a sign of moral degradation.
I went to the grocery store around 12 noon to buy my lunch for the week. When I drove through the neighborhood, the walls surrounding our subdivision were graffiti free. When I went to Walmart around 7 p.m. the walls had graffiti.
This is a brand new neighborhood. The houses here are less than a year old and their value ranges from $375,000 to almost $1,000,000. Yet, the neighborhood, has graffiti.
shavonne.org
–
Shavonne
The Duggar Family
I was flipping through channels when I came across a documentary called 14 Children and Pregnant again. It was a documentary about the Duggar family. I’ve heard about this family before and I always had my doubts as to how this family could function.
I was basing this on the fact that, well, my mom seemed to have the hardest time raising just me and also a friend of mine can’t seem to get a grip on her two children.
I think the family was very charming and facinating, and I couldn’t help but wonder what it would have been like to grow up in such a home. The children were healthy, well-dressed, well-mannered, and happy. Their home was clean and in order. I know, I had it in my head that the children were loud, uncontrollable, and miserable as well as living in a home that looked like it was hit by a tornado. But this wasn’t the case. Amazing. How is that this large family functions so well while most families a third this size seem to fall apart?
The Duggars, of course will give the glory to the Lord. Maybe they have something there.
Diary of a Tired Black Man
There?s movie coming out that I have no intention of seeing. Diary of Tired Black Man.
I went to the website to watch the clip. I was about 1/20th of the way to getting mad but I didn?t.
I used to be one of those bitter black girls. I say ?girl? because I was very a bitter black female teenager. Teenager! Not even a woman.
In junior high and high school, I was an ugly duckling. I was skinny, I had a huge gap in my front teeth, I wore glasses (still wear glasses), I was skinny?and I was black. Those were the things that boys, black boys in particular, found unattractive about me. Black boys who liked black girls liked girls with meat on their bones and I had no meat, and then there was the black boys that just wouldn?t be caught dead with a black girl even if she was cute. So there you have it.
There were of course, a few black boys that found me appealing. But their hormones were surging and they probably would have found (insert the name of the ugliest female you know) attractive. Sex is a great motivator.
I don?t even want to write about college but I?m going to anyway because I know you want to read it.
I worked in the Davidson library as a part-time gig. One day, one of the star basketball players (he was black of course) was walking through the library hand-in-hand with this female. The basketball player was clearly an attractive male, his girl, is a different story.
When the basketball player and his lady left the library, my coworker, a white male, turned to me and said, ?I don?t get it. That?s (basketball players name) and he could get any girl he wants. Why would he be with her? She is a total white man?s reject! He is attractive. She is clearly ugly. Does it bother you to see black guys with ugly white girls??
My response, ?It used to but not anymore.?
Then there was this one black guy that always went out of his way to be rude to me. One day when I was working in the library I was talking to a male friend, when Jack@ss comes up to us and interrupts me mid-sentence to talk to my friend. Not only that, but Jack@ss stood right in the middle of me and my friend, AND he turned his back to me. How rude was that? I didn?t even know this guy.
I?m tiring of this subject. I?m almost at 500 words anyway. Go figure. Let me say this, I haven?t dated a black man in two years, and if I had gone with my first instinct two years ago, I would have been five years since I dated a black man. My roommate convinced me that S was a nice guy and he really liked me. So I went out with him and as soon as I felt comfortable dating him, he flirted and exchanged phone numbers with the bar tender right in front of me.
Bitter black woman came back for a while after that.
Black men don?t like bitter black women, and let me tell you, I don?t like bitter black women, especially when I?m the bitter black woman.
Being a bitter black woman is exhausting mentally and physically and I don?t want to be a bitter black woman ever again. I will do anything to avoid being a bitter black woman, including swearing off all black men as potential mates. I just won?t go there.
I?ve had great friendships with black men, but I don?t think I can recover from the really bad dates and relationships I?ve had in the past.
I?ve only seen a clip of a Diary of a Tired Black Man, and like I said, I don?t think I?ll be seeing the movie. The difference between this movie and Diary of a Mad Black Woman is, Mad Black Women went running into the arms of a BLACK Man. That was a true Christian woman right there.
Note: I’ve changed the setting on this blog so that only members can comment. Since I’m the only member, no one else can comment on this blog. Though I still post here, eventually, I will delete this blog but only until I get shavonne.org exactly the way I want it. If you want to leave a comment, please go to shavonne.org and leave one there. Thanks.
Affirmative Action
I have a cousin (K) who?ll be going off to college next year. She?s been looking at colleges for a while now. K?s had her eyes set on Duke, but with the cost of out-of-state tuition, her mom and dad told her to look locally (California) or do what her brother and sister did and go to a predominately black college like Hampton University.
K?s been to UC Riverside and she said she likes it a lot. She?s also toured some other UC school, I believe it was Irvine, but she didn?t want to go there because there weren?t enough black students. And I thought going to college was about getting your education.
The discussion then turned to Affirmative Action and my alma mater UC Santa Barbara, which is ranked #4 out of the ten UC schools and UCLA. Apparently enrollment of black students at UC Santa Barbara has dropped since my days as an undergraduate and UCLA isn?t doing much better in recruiting black students.
I absolutely hate discussing Affirmative Action. It always brings back the memories of my undergrad years during the time Proposition 209 was on ballot. I couldn?t shake the feeling that my when my white counterparts looked at me, they saw someone that shouldn?t be there-like I hadn?t worked my ass off in a predominately white high school and graduated in the top ten percent of my class. The only reason I was at UCSB was because I was black.
The truth is, even if the reinstate Affirmative Action, blacks will still be 2 percent of the student population in the UC system. The only people that can change that are blacks themselves.
I say this because out of my black female friends from high school and myself, I was the only one that went to college. My friends went the chickenhead route and chose to stay home to become somebody?s baby?s momma. The males became somebody?s baby?s daddy and made many failed attempts to be the next Tupac Shakur. Did I mention that we went to predominately white schools and that my friends came from households where the annual incomes exceeded six figures?
I?m going to be very blunt because I?m losing interest in the subject. Affirmative Action, racial preferences, etc., aren?t going to make up for the fact that even middle class black folks can?t get their shit together and raise their children right-you know, instill an importance of a higher education, hold off on the baby making UNTIL MARRIAGE, set higher standards for themselves, work hard, mind your business, keep your nose clean?must I go on?
I hate dot5hosting
I haven’t gone one day without issues with dot5hosting. I, for some reason, am not able to login to vdeck so I can change some aspects of my blog. Typical. This is what I go through everyday. This won’t be too convenient for me if I have to deploy and don’t have access to my gmail account.
Anyways.
I found out the company that owns shavonne.net. Buypremiumdomains.com or some crap like that. They didn’t have the price of shavonne.net displayed on their site. So, I sent them an email requesting a price quote. Here is what they say the domain name is worth:
Hi Shavonne,
Thank you for your interest in the domain name, Shavonne.net.
Shavonne.net is currently valued: $1,088.00
As you may already be aware, the demand for and prices of domain names is on the rise. All sales are on a first come, first serve basis. If you are serious about purchasing this domain, I encourage you to do so today!
Ha! $1,088.00 for shavonne.net. Maybe if I was as rich as let’s say Jennifer Lopez. Man, it makes me wonder how much shavonne.org is worth. It’s got to be worth more than I paid for it. I’m definitely goint to buy up some more domain names just so they will be available just in case I want them in the future.
–
Shavonne
The Clippers: Back to a Losing Streak
I?m going to be honest and admit to rooting for the Clippers. I really really wanted them to win. In fact, if they had won the Western Conference Finals, I would have gone out and bought my very first sports jersey, which is something big for me because I do not wear sports clothing or whatever it?s called.
The most upsetting part of the Clippers? lost to Phoenix is I hear during the last game the team just seem to give up, like they didn?t even want to be there. Now, I didn?t see the last game, I just learned of it by word of mouth and of course, the sports section of the Antelope Valley Press. Here?s what Bob Baum from Associated Press wrote about the Clippers:
?The Clippers, trying to make the conference finals for he first time in the franchise?s mostly sorry history, fell behind in the final 37 seconds of the first quarter and never could catch up.?
Mostly sorry history? Dang. Why?d he have to put it like that? He might as well have just said in plain speaking and clearing understanding English-THE CLIPPERS SUCK!
P.S. - I personally think the game was rigged and the Clippers were forced to lose. The Clippers can’t be taking thunder away from the Lakers.
So many things to do, so little time
I have so much to blog about and little motivation to actually do it. I’m still waiting to hear if I will have to go back into the Army. I don’t want to but I know it’s inevitable. I called Human Resources Command to see if a decision had been made on my recall but the person I talked to said they were still processing my paperwork and the next board won’t meet until June/Julyish. Is that wonderful? I just love the waiting and stress.
I was going to write about Mother’s Day weekend but since it’s been a week, I’ve decided not to. I didn’t do much but spend time with mom and I even went to church on Mother’s Day.
I had something interesting to write about but now I can’t remember what it was. I’ll just have to write about it next time.
–
Shavonne
I’ll be leaving blogger soon
I’ve decided I should just make that leap away from blogger so I went and got a domain name with Dot5hosting. It only cost me $3.95 a month for signing up with a 24-month service. Look for Shavonne’s World at shavonne.org. I wanted shavonnesworld.com but some jackass took it already. Go figure. Who else would want a website called Shavonne’s World?
I don’t know if I will be leaving blogger permanently though. I will still post to it, especially if I’m able to post to my other website via email which I should be able to. If that’s the case, then I’ll still post to blogger to make it easier for people who link here. I just won’t respond to comments left on blogger.
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Shavonne
Things that make me feel ugly
Picture this, I”m driving home from work and I come to a stop sign. I’m sitting there waiting for traffic to clear on the left and right so I can continue down the road I’m on. Then I look to my left and I see a car making a right turn. All of a sudden the car stops next mine and there’s five black males sitting in the car smiling and trying to get my number. So I tell them to go away and I roll up my window.
This is California and a black women should feel lucky to capture the black man’s attention but damn, if these guys are getting black women like that then we are living in extremely desparate times.
I wish the men that approach me would put that energy towards an education and a career. I’m so tired of pussy hounds.
